“I don’t struggle with perfectionism.  I just have high standards.”  Boy, have I thought that to myself too many times to count.  Sometimes it was true, sometimes it wasn’t.  Having high standards is great.  It means we’re seeking to live up to our best potential and are encouraging others to do the same.  Good stuff!  But having perfection standards?  Well, that’s a different story.  Perfection standards are destructive, not only to ourselves but to those who share life with us.  How?  It’s just plain exhausting!  When we’re striving for a perfection standard, we are reaching for something that was only reachable by Jesus.  Not only that, but when we set impossible expectations for those around us, we drain them of hope and confidence and WE live graceless, ever-disappointed lives.  It’s time to release ourselves from perfectionism and others of the perfectionist standards we have.  It’s time we welcome more grace into our lives and embrace that we are each a matchless work in-progress.  And once we admit God isn’t done working on us, what follows is that we become, not just a work in-progress, but a happy work in-progress!  And who doesn’t want that?  But first, let’s identify if you (or someone you may know) has high standards or perfection standards.  Take a look at the chart below…

If you’re anything like me, you probably go back-and-forth on this chart.  I know I see the fallout of perfection standards, especially when interacting with my children.  And boy, do they expect it from each other when I expect it from them!  We all become so quick to see the “speck” in each others’ eyes. (Matthew 7:5).  You do NOT want to be in our home then.  It’s a graceless, grumpy, sorry sight for sure.

But when we live with high standards?  A complete 180 turn!  Our home finds it’s laughter and joy again.  We’re doing our personal best and fulfilling our callings more joyfully.  We’re in a place growth and encouragement and at the same time, resting in God’s grace and giving each other permission to do as well.

Maybe you’re in a season right now where you’re coming out of the need to be perfect and are learning how to be gracious with yourself and others.  It feels good to release yourself of the burden to be Jesus, doesn’t it?  After all, only HE can be perfect and any attempts to be Him and expect others to do so fall embarrassingly short! You’re probably experiencing a lot more joy and happiness than you have in awhile.  You’re not doing it perfectly, but that’s the point.  You’re a happy work in-progress!

Or maybe you WANT to be there, and you’re just now realizing that the reason you feel so much turmoil in your soul and see so much of it in your family and workplace is because you’re in the midst of the perfectionism mindset.  You have unrealistic, demanding expectations of others (or yourself) and are striving to be what only Jesus can.  In fact, if you struggle with perfectionism, you’re probably mad at yourself RIGHT NOW that you’re not more perfect at being less perfect!

There are -so- many things to unpack when it comes to high standards and perfect standards.  And I’m no expert, so I won’t pretend to know all the psychology and other factors that play into perfectionism.  One could read article upon article that dissect both.  However, as a wife, mom, and believer, I do think that when we look intently at perfectionism, it has very little to do with hard work, doing well, accomplishments, and standards.  Perfectionism really boils down to the last point on the chart:  putting ourselves, needs, desires, everything on the throne in place of God.  We are trying to put ourselves and others in a place that we were never, EVER meant to be.  That we CAN’T be.

And there’s a reason we can’t and won’t ever be there.  It’s because Someone’s already there.  There’s simply no room for our sorry substitutes.  See, when we truly acknowledge that Christ is on the throne and not us, that he paid the price for our past, present, and future imperfection, and that because of it HE deserves to sit up there, only then can we begin to truly embrace that we are a work in-progress…we are HIS work in-progress.

And are you ready for the amazingly awesome, beautiful part about it?  We don’t have to be disappointed that we and others aren’t perfect anymore because even in our imperfectness, God is working out the good in it.  Check out what God’s Word says about it:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

So, friends, THAT is where the happiness and joy comes from!  It’s a release from carrying a burden Jesus already carried.  It’s the acknowledgement that I don’t have to strive tirelessly to be what I can never be.  It’s an embracing of God’s forgiveness when I’ve repented.  It’s being grateful for how much grace was given to me and extending it to others in a graceless world.  It’s seeing the fruits of it in our families, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.  And finally, it’s a hopeful expectation that, even as I am that imperfect work in-progress, that God is doing (and is going to do) great and wonderful works through it.  Seriously awesome, right?

So go for it!  Set those high expectations for others and encourage them to meet them!  Spur others on to fulfill their God-given talents, gifts, roles, and jobs to the best of their abilities.  Be that happy work in-progress and motivate others to be one, too.  But only expect perfection from Jesus.  He’s the only one who will meet it and he never falls short.

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